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55 Hour Train Ride Through The States: Nash Vs. Pancakes! Round One.

 A promise is a promise, and I promised a friend of mine from Japan that I would visit him while he was studying abroad in the U.S.A.  The time had come, and so I set off to visit my friend, Yusuke Imasaka.  

A plane just wasn't going to do it though.

    Starting from Indianapolis, Indiana I journeyed to Portland, Oregon by Train.  The trip took 55 hours.  3 days on the train.  

    Getting on and setting off I noticed that this was, in fact, the slowest train I had ever seen.  I wanted to enjoy the "experience" of the trip, and so I brought nothing to read/do/play/listen to/ solve/ or talk with.  A couple hours of extreme boredom into the trip left me wondering if I had made a mistake.

    There was a big layover in Chicago, and I decided I was hungry, so I went off and started looking for food.  My search led me to a very busy subway sandwich shop, staffed entirely by Mexicans and Filipinos.  The place was packed with employees and customers alike.  Every time you ordered a new topping, they handed the sandwich to a new person.  Eventually someone just handed me the sandwich.  I stood at the checkout confused (no money had been exchanged) for about a minute.  Then I left.  I tried...Thanks for the free footlong!

    I offset the cost later by giving 6$ to some buskers.

    A brief quarrel at a bookstore later, and I was back on the train.  After the train had made it out of the ghettos of Illinois, there was nothing but flat fields to look at.  No trees, no crops, no bumps, just flat.  Boring.  Again wondering if I should have brought a distraction I went to sleep to kill time.  During my sleep haze, I heard the conductor say something about how we where supposed to go through south Dakota, but it had flooded so we would go around.

    That's right.  Apparently South Dakota was now Great Lake South Dakota.  I woke up to a view of nothing but water as far as the eyes could see, broken up only by dead trees peeking out the top of the water.  It looked like that was the first part of the detour.  I asked the train staff how much longer it would be until our next stop.  Thy replied that they had never used these tracks before, and they had no idea how much longer.  They were as good as lost.  I went back to sleep.

   When I woke up there was snow and mountains everywhere.  I had only one thought:  This looks an awful lot like Canada.  Eventually the snow was replaced by dark green grass and pine trees.  Then I saw it:  The Canadian Flag.

    Canada

    Rumor has it we where less than 20 miles outside the border, the the flag was prominently displayed.  The train came to a stop to allow people to get out and smoke.  I got out to exercise.  As I passed the train conductor he said "hey...anyone ever tell you you look like the wolverine?" what? "The x-man.  You look like a young wolverine.  I don't know if it's the jacket or the hair or both...but you do."  Thanks...
    
It had been awhile since I cut my hair...It was probably the fact I hadn't cut my hair or shaved in quite some time. It was less that I looked like that specific guy, and more that I looked like I'd been lost in the wilderness for awhile.

    I ran into the woods for some exercise.  When I heard the "all aboard!" I jumped back on the train.

   Things where starting to get interesting now.  A Navy guy had gotten on the train.  He was 18 or 19 and the Navy had discovered that his heart was profusely leaking, and so, he had been discharged that morning.  They gave him a train ticket home... and a few thousand dollars.  He was so happy to be free from the Navy, and have all that money, he was buying dinner and alcohol for all the people he was hanging out with.  In fact a little party broke out that night on the train because he was playing music and buying everyone drinks.  A couple of the train cars where mostly empty and a few of the passengers where getting to know each other better...physically.  It was a party on a train!  During this time I met a guy who might get me some work that would see me returning to a place I haven’t been for awhile.  I was with the party most of the night, until we got to Portland. 

    I used a guys phone on the train to call Yusuke.  He said he forgot he had class, so he sent his roommate to pick me up.  After traversing 8 states, in 55 hours, I arrived.  

    I disembarked to see a guy holding a sign that said "NASH"  in large letters.  I went over and we exchanged pleasantries.  His name was Shawn.  "Yusuke called me this morning and woke me up, told me to go get his buddy at the station.  Started trying to tell me what you looked like.  All he said was you are the same height as Yusuke but with blond hair.  I said Fuck it, I'll make a sign."  My hair is brown, I said. " I know, That's why the sign..."

    To Japanese people, if your hair is not black, it's blond.  Those are your only choices.

    Me and Yusuke got together and caught up.  He was in OK shape, but had lost a lot of weight and had not been training.  Bum.  He had become the president of the Japanese Student Society of Portland State University, which I thoroughly congratulated him for.  I was surprised though, since Yusuke is such a forgetful, heavy partier, but he had me go to one of the meetings and he handled it well.

    Afterwords, one of his friends was  throwing a big birthday/house party and we went.  It was here that I met Yusuke's girlfriend, Amanda, and Yusuke learned the joys of roasting marshmallows.  Many exchange students showed up, as well as Portland natives, and a few of us formed a super team.  Travis- a large Polynesian guy from Hawaii with family in Okinawa.  The guy is huge, and he is a Hawaii state boxing champion.  Yusuke- Japanese Karate fighter and was on his High school break dancing team.  Niko-a colossal German guy who, at only 19, reminds of Arnold Schwarzenegger.  The cool Frenchman (sorry, forgot your name)-"A beard that causes you to hear metal music when you look directly at it".  A Portland Native (Chris?)- laid back with a good knowledge of the local beers.  And Nash.

    At one point during the party, Travis let slip that he could pop and lock; Yusuke loves to dance because he was on his high school break dance team ( they have better high school teams in Japan, like break dancing and Karate); and those who know me know...the three of us engaged in a robot dance triangle for awhile.  Everyone loves the robot.

    We left that party and me, Yusuke, Amanda and a few others partied to another party.  

    Afterwords we went back to the dorm, to nap before the next days activities.  Our plan was to get up early, travel to a karate dojo for training, work up a big appetite and take the pancake challenge.

    This challenge was featured on the travel channel as the pancake challenge for America.  Pay less than 5$ for 3 pancakes.  Eat them all yourself.  No time limit.  Win and get your picture taken and put on the victory wall.  More on This later.

    The alarm went off after our brief nap and after our morning rituals, it was off to the karate school...with careful explanation by Yusuke's girlfriend on how to get there.  Yusuke and I did not follow the map well, and we get lost easily.

    We arrived at the Shotokan dojo to find that they were having rank testing that day.  We were invited to watch and so we did.  I paid close attention.  As we watched we noticed that they were all, technically speaking, not good.  Yusuke and I joked about Dojo Yaburi.  Yusuke had a class mate named Jun who was testing there that day, and he was quite good.  Even though there techniques where unskilled (I did pick up a new move though), they where serious, and very nice people, which made that dojo an important one to them.  Halfway through the testing, Yusuke fell asleep and started snoring loudly.  He woke up at the end and was mad he missed the fighting.  I chastised him for falling asleep during watching practice.  After the testing they brought in about 5 boxes of pizza, and invited us to eat some.  We respectfully declined saying we had a pancake challenge to get to.

    After a trolly ride and a short walk we arrived at the restaurant that had the famous pancakes.  We walked in smug.  We put our order in.  The waitress jeered us.  Yusuke and I talked a lot of trash.  No pancakes would beat us.  We sat and talked while they cooked them.  It was during this time that we began to notice that other tables where ordering 1 pancake and cutting them up to eat like pizza slices.  We wondered if we had made a mistake.  Yusuke went on talking trash saying we had the "Karate Spirit" and therefor could not lose.  I agreed.  The waitress brought our pancakes out and took our picture.  I'm telling everyone: That picture was taken at a bad angle.  Those where the biggest pancakes you can order.  Each one was about two inches thick and had a diameter of at least 15 inches.  It was like having 3 deep dish pizzas stacked on top of each other.  The pancakes swallowed the plates they where on, making utensils all but useless.  Yusuke tore a huge piece off with his hand.  And that's how we went at it.

    Our plan was to train at the dojo all morning to work up an appetite.  We had done nothing but sit for hours.  That was strike one against us.  The first pancake we slathered in butter and ate.  Butter fills you up faster.  Strike two.  After having eaten one whole pancake Yusuke folded his arms across his chest, leaned against the wall, closed his eyes, and admitted defeat.  I cheered him on hard.  I reminded him that we talked a lot of trash, and he needed to remember his pride.  " I don't care, I think I'm dying."  I reminded him about the karate spirit.  Customers in the restaurant where cheering and jeering.  waitresses telling us we couldn't do it.  People gawking at us through the windows.  We had a lot of pride at stake.  With the help of milk, strawberry jam, and maple syrup, Yusuke managed to eat 1 1/2 of 3 before giving up the ghost.  "I think we can get a to-go box" he said.  He lifted up half a pancake and steam came barreling up at him.  He immediately put it down.  "The smell makes me want to puke."

    By this time I was just tearing off huge pieces of pancake, rolling them up, and shoving them in glasses of water in an attempt to get them down my throat.  After finishing two and a half I had to come to terms with the fact:  I had lost.  I'm certain that had I been able to work out that morning I could have done it, but circumstances what they where, I was defeated. "want to take them with us?" No.  As we left with nothing but our shame, I swore to the shop keep I would be back in 1 year to avenge myself.  Such a defeat is inexcusable.

    After we left we met up with Amanda and went to Portland's Japanese gardens.  A place so much like Japan that being there, combined with being with Yusuke, really made me think, just for a second, I was really there.

    The gardens where beautiful, and as we walked Yusuke filled me in on more of his goings on.  His favorite show is "That 70's Show".  Which he has watched the first 4 seasons of on dvd.  He has also been introduced to new foods that he never had in Japan.  Cheese. He really likes cheese, but his favorite food?  Gravy.  He loves gravy so much.  I told him of biscuits and gravy, and his eyes lit up.  If there hadn't been an hour long wait at the restaurant we went to, we would have had some. 

   We also talked about inappropriate things, made crude jokes, and acted silly.  His girlfriend said "he doesn't act like this when you aren't around."  I bring that out in people, places, pretty much everything and everyone.

    As we left the gardens, it started to rain very, very hard.  According to the news, a tree blew over and crushed a man in his car, killing him.  Amanda said " I have lived here 4 years and this is the hardest I have ever seen it rain.  Ever."  I bring that out in things too.

   We went back to the dorm to wait for the rain to blow over.  While there we watched "That 70's show"/ took naps.  Once the rain stopped we headed out to the water front to enjoy Cinco De Mayo.  There were games, food, events, and rides.  Yusuke paid for my way into this event as well saying "you came all the way here, I'll pay".  He wanted to win his girlfriend a stuffed animal, and after careful searching he found a game he liked.  Basketball.  Make two baskets and win.  He only made one and insisted I try playing to see if I could win.  The carnie agreed that because we where so bad, he would let me try and add our points together.  I made one.  Team Nash-Yusuke had done it.  We are so bad at basketball that, combined, we are one mediocre player.  Yusuke chose a stuffed monkey, and the carnie named it lil' rick.  Thanks carnie.

    We rode some rides as well but there was one I really wanted him to see.  The "gravitron".  It's the one that spins so fast you stick to the walls.  I explained it to him.  "Sounds cool."  I told him about how ever since I was 10 years old I would to go in and do pushups and crunches for exercise. "Like the machine in Dragon Ball?"  Exactly.  I got him all worked up for some gravity training.  "How much extra gravity?"  I told him I thought it was about 4.5 times.  "Let's do it!"

   We boarded the ride.  I told Yusuke that as soon as it started to flip over and start doing pushups.  Just then, the driver in the middle told us that when the ride starts, we needed to stay on our backs.  I yelled out.  Can we do pushups? "....No" Why? "Because humans just can't."  Why?  "This machine generates 4.5 times earth gravity.  Human beings can't take it."  I can.  " You seem determined... I'll let you try."  Just tell me when we hit 4.5x. "Just don't collapse halfway through a push up and break your nose..."  I'm durable...  "OK! 4.5x!" 

Yusuke! I yelled.  Let's do it!  I flipped over.  Put my hands under me.  I struggled.  Up. Down. Up...SMACK!  I collapsed under the weight.  I yelled out to the driver.  Did you see me do one?!  "I...I just saw you do two...that's amazing...." Hang on!  I did a few more.  "That's insane!  I had a team of marines in here yesterday that said they wanted to do some gravity training. None of them could do it... One guy almost did a pushup, but he collapsed and broke his nose!  They said that no human being could take the gravity.  Flip over and try some crunches!  I heard that one crunch in here is the same as doing 20 crunches at ounce in normal gravity."  

    I did as he said and proceeded to do 20 crunches in 4.5g's.  "You're a freak! I don't believe it!"  I used to do this when I was 10 years old! "what!?"  I wish I had the money, I've always wanted one of these! "I wish I had the money I"VE always wanted one of these."  I looked over at Yusuke who had found himself pinned by gravity and unable to move since the start of the ride.  "It's too much!" he yelled at me.  After the ride had stopped, as we where leaving, the driver said "Man, I can't believe you just did that, and those cocky marines couldn't come close..."  I'm better than the marines.  Next time you see them let them know that, and if they have a problem with it, my name's Nash.  Tell them to find me.  "haha, will do."

    After some Mexican food, which I begrudgingly ate, we headed back to the dorm for intimate partying.  Small number of people watching movies and doing trivia quizzes.

    In the morning we all went out to eat and then I headed off.  Portland Oregon is a beautiful city with greenery, culture, ethnicity, beautiful architecture and refined public transportation.  Anyone with an opportunity should go.

    Training, traveling, eating, seeing sights, and doing "what human's can't".  I had a good trip, and was already planning my revenge against the pancake challenge!
   -Nash