Nash VS. Air Canada!
The Year is 20.X.
The plan was to depart Japan and head for North America. First stop, Canada. Before I left though, I had some things to work out. Namely, how I was going to get Bradley's Fuji stick from the year before, Andy's Fuji stick from my barefoot training mission up Mt. Fuji, also from the year before, and my Shikoku Fuji stick to the states. I had promised Bradley and Andy's family that I would go to Japan and retrieve them from Jeff's apartment where they had been left for safe keeping.
Plus I wanted my Shikoku stick.
I had no idea how to transport them though, and I didn't want to pay a checked baggage fee...
Then I came up with (what seemed at the time) a genius plan.
I had made sure to bring a giant bag for sovineers for friends and the like, anticipating a similar situation; but the bag wasn't giant enough for the sticks, so I filled it with other things people had requested I get for them: dishes, clothes hampers, sake, and so on. Now the problem had grown.
Not only had I the sticks to transport, but this giant novelty bag and my bag as well.
And here was my genius:
I would wrap the sticks in cloths (for protection) then tape them together, then tape that bundle to the giant bag. Now I only had one item to check, which was within the airlines limits. This made it free of charge.
Filled with pride at what I had accomplished, I showed Jeff my work. He pulled no punches:
"This will never work. It's way to big and awkward, they'll never take it. Plus it weighs a ton, it'll be over their weight limit.... and it's more than one item. You just taped everything together."
....Making it one item! This will work.
"....can you even move that thing? Can you get it to the airport? Can you even get it out the door?!"
...of course...probably.
The next morning I left. I almost couldn't make it out the door. I was moving at a snail's pace and after a minute I was drenched with sweat. I could barely carry the giant awkwardly shaped monstrosity I had created. But I had no other choice... my only thought was " I must suceed!".
After what seemed like an eternity of punishment for daring to have an awsome idea to cheat the system, I arrived at the airport. I awkwarly shuffled to the checked baggage counter, trying my best to give the impression that this thing I was carrying was both completely normal and not heavy.
"How many bags are you checking?" The receptionist seemed nice.
One.
"...."
....
"Please tag it and put it on the scale."
I did.
"This is.... a bunch of stuff taped together.... there's tape everywhere. We can't even fit this on the conveyer belt like this."
...(my heart was sinking. I couldn't affor to pay checked baggage fees!)
"Is is ok if we remove the tape to make this several slightly smaller.... items?"
Will it still count as 1 bag? Becouse it's one bag right now....
"What is this?...."
Those are sticks. Wrapped in cloths.
"... Do they have any blades or metal pieces?"
Just wood.
"What are they from?"
A several minute explanation follwed: I explained about Bradley's stick and the promise I'd made, about Andy's ashes and my barefoot Mt. Fuji training mission, and about the training mission through the 88 temples of Shikoku. Afterward, a slight look of disbelief crossed her face.
"...Really?"
Yes. Go to the myspace and look if you don't believe me.
".... yeah, this will still count as one bag."
(Victory!) Thank you, I said.
"You're welcome, have a nice flight."
And the flight WAS nice, but the second the plane landed, pleasentries where over. I was glad to be back in Canada, but apparently Toronto International Airport needs some help. At everything.
Upon arrival I needed to go through canadian customs. Becouse I was also going to the states, I needed to then go through United States customs, but on the canadian side. They where rude and unproffesional, and both customs siezed some of my travel items, despite the fact that I had brought the exace same things through months before. Someone then told me my flight had moved. After finding the new location, I wasn't informed my flight had been cancled.
An old man who was on the same flight as I was told me.
What!?
I approached the help desk and asked what was going to happen to me.
"You could stay in a hotel. Your flights been changed to tomorrow."
I don't have money. Not for a hotel. Not for food. Not even for a phone call.
The reason I couldn't afford the checked baggage fees on the way to Canada, aside from the fact that I am always poor, was that while I was in Japan, another bank bought my bank and deactivated my account untill I showed up in person. Which I couldn't do, becouse I was stuck in Toronto International Airport without money, which I coudln't get until I left the airport. Which I couldn't do without money.... I hate banks....
So what's Air Canada going to do? I asked the help desk lady with a certain defensive tone. Considering this situation exists becouse of Air Canada, I will not be paying a thing.
"Well, we will give you hotel and meal vouchers. We have a shuttle that will take you to and from the hotel. You give them these vouchers and you get to stay the night, along with eating dinner and breakfast in their dining area. Be back at the airport by 6am."
What about my luggage?
"You'll have to talk to the luggage carasel workers. They'll tell you where your things are."
And how do I go about moving my luggage?
"You can buy a cart up front."
YOU can buy a cart up front, I'm here becouse of Air Canada.
"Well, once you get up front, you can just use one of the extras that are out. Since you are staying in Toronto for the day and night, you'll have to go back through customs to leave."
So, once again I had to go through customs; Canadian and U.S.A. They then confiscated even more of my things while being rude and unproffesional.
My mood was worsening.
However, I was conforted by the old man who had to endure everything with me. His frustration made mine look tame... misery loves company it seems.
Once we made it to the front where the baggage claim was, we where informed as to the statis of our luggage. Apparently, becouse of the last minute decision to unload the bags, they had been scattered all over the airport.
Scattered. All over the airport. Just sitting on the floor somewhere, unattended, in the middle of the day. A very unfun scavenger hunt to say the least. It was ameture hour at Toronto International airport.
After sometime I finally suceeded in finding all my items (nowhere near each other, by the way) and gathered them all together. I then doubled back to find the old man and help him do the same. After finally creating a large pile of our belongings, I went in search of the promised baggage cart. I found one and moved in to take it.... and was promptly stopped by a security guard.
"What do you think you're doing!?"
I explained how we where stuck, and Air Canada said to take an extra one.
"There are no extras. You want one, you PAY for it. Even if there where extras, Air Canada doesn't own the airport, and doesn't ahve the authority to tell you to take a cart."
The old man then tried talking with him. No luck. After going back and forth with the guard for awhile, the old man decided he would just buy a cart and be done with it. He bought one, and I loaded it up with our things and pushed it to the shuttle waiting area.
The shuttle didn't come anywhere near the time Air Canada said it would, and by this time I just wanted to get something to eat and go to sleep. That hotel and dining area where sounding better by the second.
Finally the shuttle arrived. The old man and I borded, and after about half an hour we arrived at the hotel. I jumped out of the shuttle, grabbed a luggage cart, loaded our belongings onto it, then walked inside to the reception desk.
"How can I help you?"
The old man and I explained the situation and handed over our vouchers.
".... There's no dining area here."
What?
"There isn't a dining area here, you will have to go to a resteraunt or something and pay to eat."
...but... these vouchers....
"These are almost worthless. You can stay here, but we have no food or amenities. Air Canada knows this. We've been doing business with them for almost 15 years."
...but they said....
"They lied. I'm sorry. Even if we had a dining area, hotel's breakfasts don't start untill 7 am. You said you had to be back at the airport at 6am."
The old man, with defeat in his eyes, decided to stay.
"I'm old, I just want to get to sleep. What are you going to do Nash?"
....They knew. They knew, and they sent us here anyway. Those bastards.
I faded out, my disbelief giving way to fury.
I had a new source of energy, a purpose. I was suddenly wide awake.
I'm going back to the airport.
"What? all the way back to the airport? Why?"
I've got a fight to pick with Air Canada.
I grabbed all my heavy, awkward things and began my treck back to Toronto International Airport. I walked into that place as if I'd just parted the double swinging doors on an old west saloon.
There was going to be a confrontation.
I walked up to the Air Canada Counter.
"May I help you?"
Absolutely. Air Canada cancled my flight, stuck me here, left my baggage scattered everywhere, lied to me, then gave me faulty vouchers. I want something done.
"Could you explain further about your situation please?"
and I did just that.
"Well, I can give you new hotel vouchers, but I'll need to see your credit card for booking purposes. Or you can pay with money."
No, I won't. First, becouse I can't ( explained the bank situation.) Second, becouse this is on the airline, not me. Third, I don't own a credit card. I also need to use your phone.
"Sorry we can't call out. Just use your cell phone."
I don't have one.
"You don't have money, or a phone? Or a credit card?"
That's right, and I need some food and a phone.
"Well... you could go back to the hotel and..."
I'm not going anywhere until you take my bags and check them back into the system.
"We can't check your bags for 13 more hours."
Then I'll be right here. Watching YOU.
5 minutes I remained unmoved, my furious glare burning into her.
"I can give you 40 dollors in meal vouchers. 20 for dinner and 20 for breakfast. The hotel though..."
I'm staying here. I need a baggage cart.
"I can't help you with that."
Thanks for the vouchers, I said as I was turning to walk away. I wandered around the airport for a bit before spying a baggage cart.
I liberated it.
Luckily no one tried to stop me. Luckily for them I mean. I hadn't eaten, I was tired, and I had been shoved around by an indifferent system that had stolen much of my travel gear. Now was not the time.
I went in search of food. 20cd doesn't buy much at the airport. I tried to get a coule lox with cream cheese and a salad. The bill was 25cents more than the voicher, and they where not going to accept it. I tried to bargain with them. I had a few cents canadain, a few cents american, and a few japanese yen. The lady at the kiosk was indifferent to my plight. She couldn't have cared less... with one exception. My refusal to back down had held up the line, and now instead of one angry customer, she had several.
She began to see things my way.
I got my food.
I then took my baggage cart and retreated to one of the waiting areas with carpet, and got a couple hours of sleep on the floor. With one hand on the cart to make sure nobody tried to liberate it from me, of course.
In the morning, I ate, did my exercises ( in the batherroom ), then began anew the painful process of airline travel. I checked my bags... again. Then I had to go through customs. Both of them. Again. They stole more of my things.
"What is THIS?" one of the customs agents sneered.
Toothpaste.
"Yeah, well you can't take it."
This is my 6th time through your customs in the past 2 days. Why was it ok every other time, but not now?
"Becouse I can't tell what this is, it's covered in chinese wrighting."
It's Japanese.
"Whatever. I can't read it, so YOU can't take it."
So on and so on. They where all real pricks, doing nothing to actually ensure safety, but feeling smug of themselves nonetheless. I just wanted to get the hell out of Toronto International Airport and away from Air Canada.
Once I finally made it back to where we where supposed to board the plane, I saw the old man.
"Flights delayed" he said as his greeting.
Great.
we talked for a bit, then I tried to nap untill the plane arrived.
After another delay, we boarded and left.
The flight was not a pleasent one.
When we finally touched down and disembarked, gathered our things and left, the feeling of freedom rushed over me. Free from the terrony of that airport and airline. Free to be.
with no phone, no credit card, no bank, and no way to get money, I thought : "well, I guess I live here now." Any other time and or place, that would have been fine, but that was not a good time.
Me and Air Canda had words. We broke up that day in the messiest way possible, and are not even on speaking terms. We certainly will not be attending the same social functions.
Now that that exciting mess had ended, I was free. Free to head towards my next exciting mess.
-Nash
The plan was to depart Japan and head for North America. First stop, Canada. Before I left though, I had some things to work out. Namely, how I was going to get Bradley's Fuji stick from the year before, Andy's Fuji stick from my barefoot training mission up Mt. Fuji, also from the year before, and my Shikoku Fuji stick to the states. I had promised Bradley and Andy's family that I would go to Japan and retrieve them from Jeff's apartment where they had been left for safe keeping.
Plus I wanted my Shikoku stick.
I had no idea how to transport them though, and I didn't want to pay a checked baggage fee...
Then I came up with (what seemed at the time) a genius plan.
I had made sure to bring a giant bag for sovineers for friends and the like, anticipating a similar situation; but the bag wasn't giant enough for the sticks, so I filled it with other things people had requested I get for them: dishes, clothes hampers, sake, and so on. Now the problem had grown.
Not only had I the sticks to transport, but this giant novelty bag and my bag as well.
And here was my genius:
I would wrap the sticks in cloths (for protection) then tape them together, then tape that bundle to the giant bag. Now I only had one item to check, which was within the airlines limits. This made it free of charge.
Filled with pride at what I had accomplished, I showed Jeff my work. He pulled no punches:
"This will never work. It's way to big and awkward, they'll never take it. Plus it weighs a ton, it'll be over their weight limit.... and it's more than one item. You just taped everything together."
....Making it one item! This will work.
"....can you even move that thing? Can you get it to the airport? Can you even get it out the door?!"
...of course...probably.
The next morning I left. I almost couldn't make it out the door. I was moving at a snail's pace and after a minute I was drenched with sweat. I could barely carry the giant awkwardly shaped monstrosity I had created. But I had no other choice... my only thought was " I must suceed!".
After what seemed like an eternity of punishment for daring to have an awsome idea to cheat the system, I arrived at the airport. I awkwarly shuffled to the checked baggage counter, trying my best to give the impression that this thing I was carrying was both completely normal and not heavy.
"How many bags are you checking?" The receptionist seemed nice.
One.
"...."
....
"Please tag it and put it on the scale."
I did.
"This is.... a bunch of stuff taped together.... there's tape everywhere. We can't even fit this on the conveyer belt like this."
...(my heart was sinking. I couldn't affor to pay checked baggage fees!)
"Is is ok if we remove the tape to make this several slightly smaller.... items?"
Will it still count as 1 bag? Becouse it's one bag right now....
"What is this?...."
Those are sticks. Wrapped in cloths.
"... Do they have any blades or metal pieces?"
Just wood.
"What are they from?"
A several minute explanation follwed: I explained about Bradley's stick and the promise I'd made, about Andy's ashes and my barefoot Mt. Fuji training mission, and about the training mission through the 88 temples of Shikoku. Afterward, a slight look of disbelief crossed her face.
"...Really?"
Yes. Go to the myspace and look if you don't believe me.
".... yeah, this will still count as one bag."
(Victory!) Thank you, I said.
"You're welcome, have a nice flight."
And the flight WAS nice, but the second the plane landed, pleasentries where over. I was glad to be back in Canada, but apparently Toronto International Airport needs some help. At everything.
Upon arrival I needed to go through canadian customs. Becouse I was also going to the states, I needed to then go through United States customs, but on the canadian side. They where rude and unproffesional, and both customs siezed some of my travel items, despite the fact that I had brought the exace same things through months before. Someone then told me my flight had moved. After finding the new location, I wasn't informed my flight had been cancled.
An old man who was on the same flight as I was told me.
What!?
I approached the help desk and asked what was going to happen to me.
"You could stay in a hotel. Your flights been changed to tomorrow."
I don't have money. Not for a hotel. Not for food. Not even for a phone call.
The reason I couldn't afford the checked baggage fees on the way to Canada, aside from the fact that I am always poor, was that while I was in Japan, another bank bought my bank and deactivated my account untill I showed up in person. Which I couldn't do, becouse I was stuck in Toronto International Airport without money, which I coudln't get until I left the airport. Which I couldn't do without money.... I hate banks....
So what's Air Canada going to do? I asked the help desk lady with a certain defensive tone. Considering this situation exists becouse of Air Canada, I will not be paying a thing.
"Well, we will give you hotel and meal vouchers. We have a shuttle that will take you to and from the hotel. You give them these vouchers and you get to stay the night, along with eating dinner and breakfast in their dining area. Be back at the airport by 6am."
What about my luggage?
"You'll have to talk to the luggage carasel workers. They'll tell you where your things are."
And how do I go about moving my luggage?
"You can buy a cart up front."
YOU can buy a cart up front, I'm here becouse of Air Canada.
"Well, once you get up front, you can just use one of the extras that are out. Since you are staying in Toronto for the day and night, you'll have to go back through customs to leave."
So, once again I had to go through customs; Canadian and U.S.A. They then confiscated even more of my things while being rude and unproffesional.
My mood was worsening.
However, I was conforted by the old man who had to endure everything with me. His frustration made mine look tame... misery loves company it seems.
Once we made it to the front where the baggage claim was, we where informed as to the statis of our luggage. Apparently, becouse of the last minute decision to unload the bags, they had been scattered all over the airport.
Scattered. All over the airport. Just sitting on the floor somewhere, unattended, in the middle of the day. A very unfun scavenger hunt to say the least. It was ameture hour at Toronto International airport.
After sometime I finally suceeded in finding all my items (nowhere near each other, by the way) and gathered them all together. I then doubled back to find the old man and help him do the same. After finally creating a large pile of our belongings, I went in search of the promised baggage cart. I found one and moved in to take it.... and was promptly stopped by a security guard.
"What do you think you're doing!?"
I explained how we where stuck, and Air Canada said to take an extra one.
"There are no extras. You want one, you PAY for it. Even if there where extras, Air Canada doesn't own the airport, and doesn't ahve the authority to tell you to take a cart."
The old man then tried talking with him. No luck. After going back and forth with the guard for awhile, the old man decided he would just buy a cart and be done with it. He bought one, and I loaded it up with our things and pushed it to the shuttle waiting area.
The shuttle didn't come anywhere near the time Air Canada said it would, and by this time I just wanted to get something to eat and go to sleep. That hotel and dining area where sounding better by the second.
Finally the shuttle arrived. The old man and I borded, and after about half an hour we arrived at the hotel. I jumped out of the shuttle, grabbed a luggage cart, loaded our belongings onto it, then walked inside to the reception desk.
"How can I help you?"
The old man and I explained the situation and handed over our vouchers.
".... There's no dining area here."
What?
"There isn't a dining area here, you will have to go to a resteraunt or something and pay to eat."
...but... these vouchers....
"These are almost worthless. You can stay here, but we have no food or amenities. Air Canada knows this. We've been doing business with them for almost 15 years."
...but they said....
"They lied. I'm sorry. Even if we had a dining area, hotel's breakfasts don't start untill 7 am. You said you had to be back at the airport at 6am."
The old man, with defeat in his eyes, decided to stay.
"I'm old, I just want to get to sleep. What are you going to do Nash?"
....They knew. They knew, and they sent us here anyway. Those bastards.
I faded out, my disbelief giving way to fury.
I had a new source of energy, a purpose. I was suddenly wide awake.
I'm going back to the airport.
"What? all the way back to the airport? Why?"
I've got a fight to pick with Air Canada.
I grabbed all my heavy, awkward things and began my treck back to Toronto International Airport. I walked into that place as if I'd just parted the double swinging doors on an old west saloon.
There was going to be a confrontation.
I walked up to the Air Canada Counter.
"May I help you?"
Absolutely. Air Canada cancled my flight, stuck me here, left my baggage scattered everywhere, lied to me, then gave me faulty vouchers. I want something done.
"Could you explain further about your situation please?"
and I did just that.
"Well, I can give you new hotel vouchers, but I'll need to see your credit card for booking purposes. Or you can pay with money."
No, I won't. First, becouse I can't ( explained the bank situation.) Second, becouse this is on the airline, not me. Third, I don't own a credit card. I also need to use your phone.
"Sorry we can't call out. Just use your cell phone."
I don't have one.
"You don't have money, or a phone? Or a credit card?"
That's right, and I need some food and a phone.
"Well... you could go back to the hotel and..."
I'm not going anywhere until you take my bags and check them back into the system.
"We can't check your bags for 13 more hours."
Then I'll be right here. Watching YOU.
5 minutes I remained unmoved, my furious glare burning into her.
"I can give you 40 dollors in meal vouchers. 20 for dinner and 20 for breakfast. The hotel though..."
I'm staying here. I need a baggage cart.
"I can't help you with that."
Thanks for the vouchers, I said as I was turning to walk away. I wandered around the airport for a bit before spying a baggage cart.
I liberated it.
Luckily no one tried to stop me. Luckily for them I mean. I hadn't eaten, I was tired, and I had been shoved around by an indifferent system that had stolen much of my travel gear. Now was not the time.
I went in search of food. 20cd doesn't buy much at the airport. I tried to get a coule lox with cream cheese and a salad. The bill was 25cents more than the voicher, and they where not going to accept it. I tried to bargain with them. I had a few cents canadain, a few cents american, and a few japanese yen. The lady at the kiosk was indifferent to my plight. She couldn't have cared less... with one exception. My refusal to back down had held up the line, and now instead of one angry customer, she had several.
She began to see things my way.
I got my food.
I then took my baggage cart and retreated to one of the waiting areas with carpet, and got a couple hours of sleep on the floor. With one hand on the cart to make sure nobody tried to liberate it from me, of course.
In the morning, I ate, did my exercises ( in the batherroom ), then began anew the painful process of airline travel. I checked my bags... again. Then I had to go through customs. Both of them. Again. They stole more of my things.
"What is THIS?" one of the customs agents sneered.
Toothpaste.
"Yeah, well you can't take it."
This is my 6th time through your customs in the past 2 days. Why was it ok every other time, but not now?
"Becouse I can't tell what this is, it's covered in chinese wrighting."
It's Japanese.
"Whatever. I can't read it, so YOU can't take it."
So on and so on. They where all real pricks, doing nothing to actually ensure safety, but feeling smug of themselves nonetheless. I just wanted to get the hell out of Toronto International Airport and away from Air Canada.
Once I finally made it back to where we where supposed to board the plane, I saw the old man.
"Flights delayed" he said as his greeting.
Great.
we talked for a bit, then I tried to nap untill the plane arrived.
After another delay, we boarded and left.
The flight was not a pleasent one.
When we finally touched down and disembarked, gathered our things and left, the feeling of freedom rushed over me. Free from the terrony of that airport and airline. Free to be.
with no phone, no credit card, no bank, and no way to get money, I thought : "well, I guess I live here now." Any other time and or place, that would have been fine, but that was not a good time.
Me and Air Canda had words. We broke up that day in the messiest way possible, and are not even on speaking terms. We certainly will not be attending the same social functions.
Now that that exciting mess had ended, I was free. Free to head towards my next exciting mess.
-Nash