Japan: Nash Vs. Silly Japanese Speech Contest
The school I was attending in Japan was hosting a speech contest for foreigners. Each class would choose their representative speaker, and then they would give a speech in the contest, in Japanese, while the rest of the class cheered them on. I had no intention of entering the contest, but the class required that you wright a speech to enter for a grade. Of course, the best speech would be chosen to compete, so I came up with a plan.
If I wrote a speech that was good enough for a grade, but all around terrible, I wouldn't get picked to enter the contest. So, content in my genius plan, I wrote a speech that I was sure they didn't want to hear. I felt so smart... until I heard my classmates' speeches. Such titles as " I want a boyfriend", and " I like smoking and sleeping". I knew I would get picked for sure.
Sure enough, a couple of days after presenting our speeches, a teacher was waiting outside of class for me.
"Nash"
Yes.
"I have been wanting to talk to you."
...
"The rest of the teachers and I think you should be the representative for the class, and be in the speech contest."
I don't want to.
"Your speech was the best."
It's not very good.
"It's what we want"
what about someone else?
"Your the best public speaker by far."
There’s that one girl.. she was good...
And back and forth we went, until it was decided. I would be the representative for the class.
Not what I had in mind. In fact, the opposite. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise though, as I found out the rest of the class had to make a dance/cheer lasting one minute to cheer the speaker on. I would much rather speak and be the center of the happenings than be involved in that sort of thing. I didn't want a dance cheer for my speech, but that wasn't my choice to make. The rest of the class had to design it.
The teacher asked the class "what sort of things does Nash like? what are some Nash-like things?" I imagine it was a tough question, since it was a new quarter, and none of my new classmates knew me... or so I thought. Someone yelled "Fighting". "OK, what else?" "...walking?..." "break dancing"
Break dancing? I had made no indication that I liked break dancing, but as it turned out, I do like break dancing. Anyone who knows me, knows that. I guess they just assumed everyone likes break dancing? The teacher then said " We need music for whatever we are going to do. What is some music that makes you think of Nash? Nash, what do you want?" I don't care. "OK, people start shouting out music." "Theme from rocky !" "Theme from Top Gun!" "highway to the danger zone?" "yeah!"
80's music? I didn't say I liked that stuff... but I do. "Everybody was kung fu fighting!" NO! "ok.. Nash has vetoed that song..." The teacher said the students needed to think of something to do during their cheer. One guy suggested "let's get a big stack of something and have Nash chop it in half!" The teacher said "Nash isn't allowed to be in his own cheer, can anyone else chop a stack of something?" The room fell quite. The same guy then said "ok, so we get some fire..." "NO FIRE!" the teacher said, cutting him off. A girl asked "what should we wear?" The teacher, being a girl herself, was interested in this question as well. Another girl shouted "Jeans and white T-Shirts!" The teacher really liked this idea, enthusiastically adding "yeah! and the girls should wear really short jean skirts, and have their T-shirts tight, and cut really low. That will be a good representation for Nash." The girls in the class liked the idea.
A good representation for Nash!? What the hell? What image is floating in their heads of me? One that requires skimpy cloths, fighting, chopping things in half, fire, and early 80's music? It's like their image of me is any character that Sonny Chiba played in the 70's or 80's! The craziest thing though, is that it was dead on. What a wake up call!...
That was all I knew of the Cheer until the day of the contest. The contest came, and I was called to the podium to deliver my speech. Before I could speak, my class needed to do their cheer. Highway to the danger zone blared across the auditorium. My class ran out on stage and formed a semi-circle wearing jeans and white T-shirts. They then took a “horse riding” karate stance and threw punches in unison shouting "Na-Sh Na-Sh" to the rhythm of their fists. They then each lifted a large card with a letter written on each one. The message spelled out "Nash, do your best!". One of my classmates and now good friend, Chris, then jumped in the middle of the circle and began to break dance. While he was break dancing, my classmates where doing the wave with their message cards. Chris then paused for a second to put on a hachimaki (headband). Written across it was " Strongest in Japan". He then break danced harder then ever, while the other class mates flipped their cards over to reveal a new message. My speech’s title. "It's best to be aware of your own surroundings." Their cheer ended; now it was my turn. That was one hell of a Nash Cheer. I think they may have hit all the major points!
My speech was written specifically so I would not get chosen, but I did. So I'd imagine it wasn't the greatest to hear. The speech, in English, was as follows:
“Everyone, now, the earth is dangerous. Of course, a long time ago the earth was also dangerous, but recently human beings have become weak. You all always walk around using your cell phones and mp3s, so you are not paying attention. If you use your cellphone while walking around, you can't see anything. If you use an mp3 player its difficult to hear the sounds of your environment. Because of this there are injuries. If you are careless, you could die. A world that is only easy and convenient, and reassuring can't be made. The government can't help you. It's best to look after your surroundings on your own. You can't rely on other people. If you always pay attention to your surrounding when you walk, you'll understand. please always think. 'Is this place OK? Is it dangerous?' For example, Akihabara. Nobody thought there where murderers there, but there really where. Trust your own feelings, if you get a bad vibe, leave. Rely on your own feelings. Whenever you can, do whatever you can on your own. Everyone, right now the earth is dangerous, but if each person becomes strong, the world will become better. If your body is strong you can't get sick. If you are educated, problems become easy. If you have a strong heart you can protect your dreams and the things that are important to you. From now on, rely on nothing. With every fiber of our being, lets be independent!”
Not the greatest speech, especially to say to Japanese people, in Japan, but it does sound better in Japanese. I didn't win the contest, but I did get 50000 yen, which at the time was about 500$!
Not bad for someone who didn't want to enter. I didn't know it at the time, but I was about to REALLY need that money for when I became homeless, which I also didn't know was coming. Maybe I should have been more aware of my own surroundings?
-Nash
Become a 1 man!
If I wrote a speech that was good enough for a grade, but all around terrible, I wouldn't get picked to enter the contest. So, content in my genius plan, I wrote a speech that I was sure they didn't want to hear. I felt so smart... until I heard my classmates' speeches. Such titles as " I want a boyfriend", and " I like smoking and sleeping". I knew I would get picked for sure.
Sure enough, a couple of days after presenting our speeches, a teacher was waiting outside of class for me.
"Nash"
Yes.
"I have been wanting to talk to you."
...
"The rest of the teachers and I think you should be the representative for the class, and be in the speech contest."
I don't want to.
"Your speech was the best."
It's not very good.
"It's what we want"
what about someone else?
"Your the best public speaker by far."
There’s that one girl.. she was good...
And back and forth we went, until it was decided. I would be the representative for the class.
Not what I had in mind. In fact, the opposite. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise though, as I found out the rest of the class had to make a dance/cheer lasting one minute to cheer the speaker on. I would much rather speak and be the center of the happenings than be involved in that sort of thing. I didn't want a dance cheer for my speech, but that wasn't my choice to make. The rest of the class had to design it.
The teacher asked the class "what sort of things does Nash like? what are some Nash-like things?" I imagine it was a tough question, since it was a new quarter, and none of my new classmates knew me... or so I thought. Someone yelled "Fighting". "OK, what else?" "...walking?..." "break dancing"
Break dancing? I had made no indication that I liked break dancing, but as it turned out, I do like break dancing. Anyone who knows me, knows that. I guess they just assumed everyone likes break dancing? The teacher then said " We need music for whatever we are going to do. What is some music that makes you think of Nash? Nash, what do you want?" I don't care. "OK, people start shouting out music." "Theme from rocky !" "Theme from Top Gun!" "highway to the danger zone?" "yeah!"
80's music? I didn't say I liked that stuff... but I do. "Everybody was kung fu fighting!" NO! "ok.. Nash has vetoed that song..." The teacher said the students needed to think of something to do during their cheer. One guy suggested "let's get a big stack of something and have Nash chop it in half!" The teacher said "Nash isn't allowed to be in his own cheer, can anyone else chop a stack of something?" The room fell quite. The same guy then said "ok, so we get some fire..." "NO FIRE!" the teacher said, cutting him off. A girl asked "what should we wear?" The teacher, being a girl herself, was interested in this question as well. Another girl shouted "Jeans and white T-Shirts!" The teacher really liked this idea, enthusiastically adding "yeah! and the girls should wear really short jean skirts, and have their T-shirts tight, and cut really low. That will be a good representation for Nash." The girls in the class liked the idea.
A good representation for Nash!? What the hell? What image is floating in their heads of me? One that requires skimpy cloths, fighting, chopping things in half, fire, and early 80's music? It's like their image of me is any character that Sonny Chiba played in the 70's or 80's! The craziest thing though, is that it was dead on. What a wake up call!...
That was all I knew of the Cheer until the day of the contest. The contest came, and I was called to the podium to deliver my speech. Before I could speak, my class needed to do their cheer. Highway to the danger zone blared across the auditorium. My class ran out on stage and formed a semi-circle wearing jeans and white T-shirts. They then took a “horse riding” karate stance and threw punches in unison shouting "Na-Sh Na-Sh" to the rhythm of their fists. They then each lifted a large card with a letter written on each one. The message spelled out "Nash, do your best!". One of my classmates and now good friend, Chris, then jumped in the middle of the circle and began to break dance. While he was break dancing, my classmates where doing the wave with their message cards. Chris then paused for a second to put on a hachimaki (headband). Written across it was " Strongest in Japan". He then break danced harder then ever, while the other class mates flipped their cards over to reveal a new message. My speech’s title. "It's best to be aware of your own surroundings." Their cheer ended; now it was my turn. That was one hell of a Nash Cheer. I think they may have hit all the major points!
My speech was written specifically so I would not get chosen, but I did. So I'd imagine it wasn't the greatest to hear. The speech, in English, was as follows:
“Everyone, now, the earth is dangerous. Of course, a long time ago the earth was also dangerous, but recently human beings have become weak. You all always walk around using your cell phones and mp3s, so you are not paying attention. If you use your cellphone while walking around, you can't see anything. If you use an mp3 player its difficult to hear the sounds of your environment. Because of this there are injuries. If you are careless, you could die. A world that is only easy and convenient, and reassuring can't be made. The government can't help you. It's best to look after your surroundings on your own. You can't rely on other people. If you always pay attention to your surrounding when you walk, you'll understand. please always think. 'Is this place OK? Is it dangerous?' For example, Akihabara. Nobody thought there where murderers there, but there really where. Trust your own feelings, if you get a bad vibe, leave. Rely on your own feelings. Whenever you can, do whatever you can on your own. Everyone, right now the earth is dangerous, but if each person becomes strong, the world will become better. If your body is strong you can't get sick. If you are educated, problems become easy. If you have a strong heart you can protect your dreams and the things that are important to you. From now on, rely on nothing. With every fiber of our being, lets be independent!”
Not the greatest speech, especially to say to Japanese people, in Japan, but it does sound better in Japanese. I didn't win the contest, but I did get 50000 yen, which at the time was about 500$!
Not bad for someone who didn't want to enter. I didn't know it at the time, but I was about to REALLY need that money for when I became homeless, which I also didn't know was coming. Maybe I should have been more aware of my own surroundings?
-Nash
Become a 1 man!