Fun News: I ate a Guinea Pig in Cusco. It's a Peruvian specialty.
Less fun news: Here comes a huge rant about getting to and around the ruins people call MachuPichu. It's all so intentionally convoluted and inefficient. I waited in line for an hour for a ticket in advance in Cusco, then they won't sell me one because I haven't bought transport yet. No warning on this. Everything is sold out except tours which come with transport. I figure why not, the tour is cheaper than going by myself. It was messed up straight from the start! I'm way too big for the van they throw me into; everyone here is built like a windup toy mr. potato head: Torso and then straight to the feet, no legs. I have legs. During the 8 hour ride that is breaking my knees we stop for the included lunch. My name is not on the list. After much arguing I get to eat, and it's buffet style. I grab a small plate to sample to see what I like before I go in for the kill. I go back for my food: "sorry, you only get the one plate." No warning, no lunch for me. Finally get to the dropzone to start the 3 hour hike to the base town: my name is not on the list for the included hostel. I was just told to make the hike and find "my tour guide" in town. Get to town, can't find some rando. I do manage to find someone that knows where I'm supposed to be staying, because nobody informed me. Get diarrhea. Just want to find out who to meet in the morning to get to the hike and then go to bed. No one will tell me, they say I have to go to the included dinner. Pickup is supposed to be at 7, guy rocks up after 8. My name is not on the list for dinner. Argue. Finally get my ticket to the ruins that should have been given to me awhile ago. I'm informed to start the hike at 4:30 in the morning, to get to the top by 6:30, to meet the English tour guide. Get up, do my exercises, head out at 4:30 into a massive downpour to hike an hour to get to the line to stand in line in the rain for an hour to get hiking again. Find the "guide". No one speaks English except for me, so they decide the tour is now exclusively in Spanish. Waste of time and money, I decide to go alone. They will not let me escape this group. We pass many English speaking tours... even a Japanese tour! They eat up a massive amount of my time, then I have to leave and come back to do it on my own. Nail it. Get back to town at noon to see when the bus is picking me up to get out of this unmitigated shit storm. 2pm. I have 2 hours to make the 3 hour hike back to the extraction point. I tell the guy no way. He says "if you move faster, the hike takes less time." I know how speed works asshole! That's not the issue! I power through and make it. 10 hours of hiking followed by another crap van ride, but this time we keep almost losing a tire, and so have to keep stopping to put it on. Many people have died from this. It was the worst. The ruins are great, just avoid everyone and everything that is associated with them.
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