Thailand: Gibbons, Muay Thai, And The Heart Of The Sea
Summer 20.X.1 - Part I
The year is 20.X.1.
Every once in a while (or almost constantly) I embark on a great journey to find something. I become hell bent on reaching my goal and with immoderation I will not stop untill I'm there with what I was after. More often than not complications and obsticles arise and must be overcome. Ocasionaly these can set me back years. Sometimes I find everything I'm after, and sometimes I find everything except what I'm after.
and so it is with this story...
So there I was! Wondering how exactly I was going to get to Thailand and do some research on Muay Thai and other such things and find a bar I'd heard of where you can fight Muay Thai, when I hear of a volunteer orginization going to Thailand to help endangered animals. Perfect. I love animals, and they'll familurize me with Thailand. What could go wrong?
Money.
I don't have any.
But, with months of ideas and a little creative accounting, I was able to register for the orginization. They where to provide a flight, transport, lodging, most of my food, and a briefing. I would be studying in Thailand in no time, helping elephants probably. Right?
Well, first there was the issue of my flight. It turns out it left from Los Angeles. I was not in Los Angeles. Second, there was the issue of survival money. I had none. Third, I would not be helping elephants as I had been informed that I would now be working with gibbons. Fourth... I had no clue what a gibbon was. It's an ape by the way. Monkeys/apes and Nash don't mix for some reason. I wasn't thrilled at the news. Lastly, looking at the schedule for the month, it seemed I would be way more busy than originally thought...
I find however that you can't get worried if you remain in a constant state of shock. So, when life gives you a small problem, find two more small one's and a big one! The feeling of being overwhelmed will calm you. Or kill you. It works for me though.
And so, with many loans from many friends, I was off. I didn't even have a flight up untill a few days before I was supposed to leave! I did have a couple days of flying and layovers ahead of me though, which meant that I needed to stock up on food for the trip, airport food being as pricey as it is. I set off and the time flew and soon I was in Thailand. How does one condense a months worth of unrelated anecdotes into a compellingly linked single narative? They don't. Here comes my attempt though.
When I arrived I was joined by the rest of the volunteers, 7 in total, all girls. Eight of us and I was the only guy. Those that know me might assume I was about to kill myself, or them, after a couple of days. They would be wrong. Something amongst us clicked. We all got along great, and after the first week we where like a family. This could have been becouse we where all so diffirent, we where free to pursue our own place within the group. There was Abby, a very open person who has no problem telling people what she thinks. Chasity, who's duty it was to make sure everyone knew that everything had a sexual conotation. Julie (brown) is half filipino, she had never been out of the states prior to this, but was studying pre-vetrinary medicine. Julie (green) was the concernced sister of the group. She made sure everyone was ok as well as served up relationship advice with the proper muse. Kristen was the little sister of the group perpetually late and doing and saying silly things. Also she was sick for about 3 weeks. She probably had malaria. K' was the american-korean big sister of the group. She splits her time between the states and Korea. Annette is the american-norwegian girl who is the prim-and-proper one of the group. She was also studying pre-vetrinary medicine and loves horses. A lot. Then of course there was Nash, possesing tales the likes of which the group had never heard (and still haven't, mostly), as well as the coveted 'Y' chromosome. Also there was Jon, our group leader. He served several years in the peace corps.
We where all working in a small muslim village in the Phuket province. This meant my morning jog took me past free roaming bulls, a mosque, a rubber tree farm, elephants... and a 7-11. This also meant the girls had to have pants on covering their knees and shirts covering their chest and shoulder. The tropical rainforests of Thailand are hot and humid. They did not seem happy at this. The project head for the Gibbon Rehabilitation Project was a retired Muay Thai fighter, Roch, which gave us something to talk about that wasn't gibbons. I also got some training advice from him and he said there was a bar in Railay where you could fight Muay Thai. Exactly what I was after! The hunt was on.
My room had two cots in it, with sheets portraying teddy bears and flowers. Fitting for my taste. It was also covered in geckos.
Most days would see the group up at around 6:30 (I would get up at around 5:30 to run and do my morning exercises) and be gone by 8:30 where we would work in the rainforests doing things like beating trails, blazing trails, cleaning cages or landscaping. Pro tip: EVERYTHING in Thailand's tropical rainforest is made of spikes! Even the animals! Work was usually done by 5. Then it was dinner and bonding time, which when requested consisted of one of my stories. Ocasionally though, we would do something diffirent in the forest such as be taught rainforest survival skills from one of the staff that looked even more like a guirilla warfare pirate than the others. This consisted of new ways to catch food, cook food, how to extract water from various plants, and how to make diffirent kinds of rope. On one such excursion, I was bent over and Chasity stood behind me looking over my shoulder at a leach. I stood up fast and headbutted her in the nose so hard I was shocked she was even still alive. After much blood and nausea the swelling went down to reveal her nose had not been broken! We where all surprised.
On one occasion, one of the villages caught a 4 meter long python while it was eating one of their chickens. They turned it over to the wildlife protection guys, who then tasked me with carrying it into the tropical rainforest to release it. Hiking while carying a 4m python in a potato sack isn't as hard as it sounds. Just sling it over your shoulder and go (while being careful not to hit it on anything). The rope used to hold the bag closed became my new work belt. Now THERE'S clothing with a story behind it! I feel it's important to mention here that Abby is afraid of snakes, and that one would always show up at just the right moment to cause comedy. One even fell out of a tree near her, shaving at least a year off of her life. In the same vein, I was surprised by a huge lizard in my toilet that Annette eventually got out. There where also monkeys everywhere. Lots of monkeys.
Some fun facts about Thailand: Their toilets are designed not to be able to handle toilet paper. As far as I'm concerned, if there is a situation that requires toilet paper, a thin piece of wet paper will be the least of your toilet's concerns. That is, if you are even lucky enough to find a toilet with toilet paper and it isn't just a bowl on the floor, flushed by dumping a bucket of water on it.
Another interesting fact: there appears to be no method to the madness of their driving. I watched a man on a motorcycle have a head on collision with a guy in a truck, as well as numerous hit-by-car dogs. If you saw how they drove, you wouldn't be surprised. As dangerouse as the roads where though, the rainforest harbored a diffirent kind of danger... crazy guides! Once green Julie and myself where part of a team sent out to find and watch specific gibbons. Except a landslide had taken out our trails. Our group was the only one without a machate at the time, so our guide attempted to blindly blaze a new trail with a camera single-leg-tripod. A onepod! They are not sharp! They are dull. Our little venture that day took us to a boar's nest, a crazy brush with tropical rainforest hornets, and a flash flood. we also didn't find the gibbons we where looking for...
There was one I didn't want to find.
"Crazy Tony".
A gibbon infamouse for attacking everyone, especially foreigners. By the end of it all, I was ready to punch his teeth out, or worse, but he never made his move on me. I'm sure he's out there waiting for me... plotting.
After awhile of work and participating in international tree planting day where we planted a species of palm tree found nowhere else on earth except there, the group was given a couple days off. The first of which saw us walking to the Londoner's bar. A bar run by...an expat from London. G. This would be the first of many brushes with alchohol for the group. One where they witnessed exactly what happens to a person with a fast metabolism when he drinks. They also learned that if they want a specific answer to a question, they should ask the question specifically...
The next day saw us all leaving for Kata Beach. A beach that is surely in contention for the title of "nicest I've ever been to". Beutiful white sand, and water so salty it's like swimming in a soup of beef jerkey. Delicouse... and burning. We all stayed in a gorgeouse hotel sweet that we managed to trash thanks to a hard night of partying. K' also taught us the drinking game "korean kings"... it is NOT to be triffled with! The following day it looked like motley crue had stayed in the room... and my white T-shirt did not survive the trip.
When we returned to the gibbon complex I needed to find a new shirt, so I went to the market. I found the manliest, largest shirt I could find. Unfortunatley it was neither manly nor large. I did however get it to fit by cutting the neck out (accidentaly into a 'V') and the sleaves off. The shirt will live on in infamy as "The gay Thailand shirt". Other things that may live on in infamy: One of the group was having a bit of a relationship with one of the staff. This is a no-no. Another one of the staff fancied a diffirent member of the group, one that I was spending considerable time with, and so he came to not like me very much as a result. No real problems arose in either case though. Probably.
When our time with the Gibbon Rehabilitation Project was at an end we had a party on the beach where we played soccer with the staff, and hung out all night. Roch and I talked Muay Thai and Training. Abby learned how to balance bottles. It was a fighting last night to our time there. Now it was time to move from Phuket to Chiang Mai, where our group would meet up with all the other groups from the orginization that where in Thailand at the same time. We where to be taken on a whirlwind "adventure" tour, and see as much of Thailand as possible, while being taught about the current states of problems with the country and animals, and what we could do to help solve them. We wondered what we would do without Jon's helpful advise and ability to speak Thai, since he was staying at the gibbon place. I was sure that now I would have time for more training and to find this fight bar.
When we arrived in Chiang Mai we found we had a legitimate hotel to stay at, with hot water and air conditioning! We weren't in the jungle anymore. We did however manage to trash this hotel as well (and every other one for that matter). When we arrived at this hotel, we where introduced to the other groups, and to our two new guides: Milk and Queen. Two insane thai women in their 20's, one of which was a former muay thai fighter and combative artist who had studied Judo, Karate, and the like. Perfect. I got along great with the other group members as well. People like Patrick, Nico, Chad, Carston, Spencer, and Nicole just to name a few. While in Chiang Mai I went to some Muay Thai places and took Annette to a Muay Thai fight. One kid, who looked about 10 years old, took about six consecutive roundhouse kicks to the head before falling into a twitchy coma. He had to be drug from the ring. Green Julie and Abby joined us towards the end.
While in Chiang Mai we visited one of the largest temples. Here I was given a bracelet by a monk and blessed, and had my fortune read. It stated: "you have terrible luck right now! Do not embark on any adventures without first consulting an elder that has already done the things you want to do! You will also have to wait awhile for love. It's not coming to you soon." Great. Off to adventures!
I also went Bungie jumping in Chiang Mai. That should have been exciting enough, but the real excitement happened on the way there. We where traveling in a van to the location, when all of a sudden it sounded like the automobile wouldnt' go into gear. The noise got louder and louder untill finally the van stopped, but the noise kept escalating. Smoke started pouring from the hood and the driver jumped out and started running away screaming "get out! get! out!" Smoke and fumes flying out of everywhere now and they had begun rapidly filling the van. We couldn't get the doors open! The person that had been up front in the passenger seat was all who could escape, as he stood outside looking in with horror on his face. Panick filled the van in the 10 seconds it took us to finally allow us unlock it. We ran out. "Man Nash, I thought you where going to rip the door off the van." Spencer said.
Me too.
Much more exciting than the actual jump, though I might have screamed like a little kid.
While in Chiang mai I also went to a market and bought some cloths the seller swore would fit me. They did. Other highlights of Chiang Mai included: Thai cooking class, going to a silk factory and jade carving place, a 2-hour thai massage (where comedy ensued), rock climbing, thai dinner theater eating viking style while watching some martial arts and such, and the group taking me out for an unforgettable night. Thanks!
Oh, there was also a time Carsten ( a big german guy) and myself where on a temple tour riding in pedi-cabs. Good, except our drivers looked to be in their 100's. Once we actually had to get out and push our own pedi-cabs up hill becouse they where too old and we where too heavy. I feel like that defeats the purpose of a mode of transpor, if you have to get out and push it.
After we all left Chiang Mai we went on a three day trek up through the jungle and visited various mountain tribes and villages, very akin to ninja villages. The view was gorgeouse and the company good. The night sky is of particular mention for it's beutey.
While visiting the mountain tribes we visited a shaman. The shaman was nice, but learning how he became a shaman leads me to wonder. This man became a shaman when he was a child. He had a dream where he was visited by spirits, and he found out he was allergic to garlic. That's it! Those where the signs. Then a shaman mentored him and he bacame a shaman. I think I might be a shaman. Or at least could have been one if I had had a shaman mentor. The signs are all there!
On our way down from the village we stopped at a powerfull waterfall, where I got some waterfall training in. I also got a bracelet from an old village lady by the waterfall. Then we went white water rafting. In my raft there was K', Annette, and Kristen (who could not hold on to a paddle to save her life). We managed to flip our raft quite spectacularly, with most people going overboard twice during the course of the trip (though I might have only gone over once, it was a doozy). Afterwords we relaxed at another hill tribe place. When we left that place we went to the elephant nature park, which is not only an elephant preserve, but also an animal rescue featuring many animals such as horses, dogs, and bears. We cared for and learned about elephants while we where there.
When we left we traveled to bangkok where we got on an overnight sleeper train. The train was quite uncomfortable untill personell changed the seats into beds. Even with the incredible heat I put out and despite the small bed (or maybe becouse of) I managed to be very comfortable that night.
Once we where off of the train, we where back in southern Thailand. Near Phuket! Home sweat home (as far as Thailand is concerned anyway). We stayed at a rainforest lodge in tree-house bungalos with lots of maqaqs (monkeys!). The bathrooms where more like a back patio than a bathroom. In fact, it was just a back patio with a toilet on it. The place had a rope swing over a river that everyone thought I was going to kill myself with ( I didn't). Most of us went tubing while we where there. While tubing, someone got it in my head that it would be a good idea to try and stand on the tube and surf. Someone then told me that "now" would be a good time to do it, as the river was deep. It was not. The current was strong though, and when I fell off the tube, I recieved a 5 minute ass beating from the river bed as I was strongly drug over it by the current. This went on until I could get my tube back...
Next we all hopped onto a long tale boat and toured around the lake at Khao Sok park. We swam and had lunch on a floating resteraunt. The next place we where headed was phuket proper where we would spend most of our time at sea (my favorite) on a ship, and sea kayaking. While on the ship I befriended one of the crew named Mac, who just happened to be a Muay Thai fighter. We talked about all things Muay Thai while he wasn't working.
While sea kayaking our guide had us moar up by a cliff on an island during low tide. Low tide revealed a small tunnel we could barely squeeze through, and after about 15 minutes of squeezing we emerged into a beutifull secluded lagoon. When we where done there it was off to our kayaks, off to our ship, and off to our beach front lodging for the night.
The night had all the makings of a great night, but things took a turn as thy are want to do. Firstly there where amazing hammocks suspended right on the beach. Next there was to be a barbecue, and third there was to be a muay thai demonstration! This would consist of various fights, plus the chance for us to spar as well. Oh, and Mac was one of the fighters! What could go wrong?
Thaiarrhea. The special kind of thai diarrhea I'd been able to avoid. Untill this night. First I was incapacitaded with stomach cramps, and then I was hit with nasuea and weakness. I thought I might have to puke. I was wrong. I would have tried to go to bed at sundown, had it not been for the muay thai. Everyone wanted me to fight. I could barely breath. In between struggled breaths I assured my comrades that if I got hit and pooped my pants and passed out, it would be hard to regain my lost honor. They egged me on anyway. Then the demo began. First with children, then moving onto adults and champions. They had some good skills, and everyone was having a great time. Then Mac stepped in to fight. He was doing good, sparring with his friend...until an elbow to the face knocked his two front teeth out of his head and onto the canvas! Then he finished the remaining minute and a half of the fight! Warrior spirit. Then the rest of the matches where fought. Afterwords the fighters wanted volunteers to work the pads (NOT spar, after the teeth incident). Everyone wanted me to do it. I just wanted to lie down. Working pads would not bring me much. I wasn't going.
Then one of the fighters walked up and handed me the gloves with a look in his eye.
A challenge! If I could move only my pinky finger I wouldn't have backed down. He signaled for a round kick. I delivered and his kick meat pad flew off of his hand. Once he reset, he wanted serial middle round kicks. I answered. Kicks, punches, elbows, combinations, switch kicks, and knees. He told me when he had had enough. I felt great! Fighting was my cure. As I came back to my seat everyone was shocked. Kristen said "you turned into a freakin' beast!"
Well you had heard the stories....
"We thought they where made up!"
What!?
"Exagerated. We thought they where exagurated." Abby chimed in.
"But they're not!"
No. No they are not.
After my applouse, I did some verbal coaching for everyone else who went, and talked muay thai with queen. Then went to bed. Or tried to at least. I kept hearing a knocking that wasn't really there, and our hut had a dokei lizard that screamed at us all night. No sleep again.
We wound up starting a collection to try and get Mac some new teeth. The next day at sea he was a bit shy, but still working hard. Even though our group got along great I needed some personal Nash adventure time. So when we stopped for people to sunbathe or swim or whatever I seized the opportunity and kayaked a few islands over and behind another island. The things I saw where beutifull. I saw the blackest crane shaped bird I had ever seen. Then I saw the bluest sparrow shaped bird I'd ever seen. It's artfull blueness surpassed only by the peculiarity of what I saw next. I saw a crab, about the size of a food bowl, sailing on top of a block of wood of approximatly the same size, in the middle of the ocean. I say sailing becouse thats what it apperead to be doing. Odder still, right next to it was a gold heart shaped... thing. A keychain like object. So, I took it. Captain crab didn't seem to mind. When I got back to the boat I showed the group my spoils.
"What if that was a cursed crab, and it's love was supposed to find that heart and turn him back into a person!?"
He should have guarded it better.
"It's the heart of the sea!"
I liked the sound of that, and that's what it's called now. Still in my possesion. I only had to split off of the group for 1 hour and I was able to come back with a small story and the heart of the sea. Not bad. Our group then recomveaned and went kayaking through a mangrove swamp.
My kayak was right behind the guide's as he led us through in a single file line. Fun except that he led us in during low tide, and my kayak bottomed out. The guide told us to wait 8 minutes while the tide came in. I was fine with it, but apperantly no one behind me knew why we had stopped, so it just looked like I was screwing around for 8 minutes. It wasn't my fault! It was low tide! When we finally made it through we went back to the ship and sailed to Railay beach, where we would spend the next few days. Railay beach is a mostly beutifull tourist area.
While based in Railay beach we sailed to the Phi Phi islands (Ko Phi Phi) and went snorkeling in he coral reefs there. We also went to Maya Beach, which is where the movie "The Beach" was filmed. It was full of garbage and tourists. The best part of being there was that people could finally stop telling me about the place.
Railay beach was a nice enough place to be, but nothing compared to Kata beach in my opinion. Railay beach is isolated enough to be inconvenient, but not enough to be relaxing. It is home to beaches that are fun to walk on at night though. There are tide pools with fish to see, snails, anemones, various crabs, a wonderous night sky, and many other beutifull things to see.
It is also home to some decent night life. "The last bar" specifically. A place that features many drinks, a dance floor, body painting, fire dancers, ...free wifi... a blatently plagerized batman logo, and it also happens to be a place we all went and accumulated good times. Everyone came away that night with at least one memorable experience (wether it directly involved them or not).
After our time in Railay beach was done we started into motion the process of leaving Thailand. We sailed from Railay to Krabi, and then flew from Krabi to Bangkok. Everyone left from Bangkok to return to their homes abroad. Everyone except myself, K', Spencer, and Nicole. Spencer and Nicole where flying out the following morning. K' had a couple of days to hang out in bangkok, and I had a few. For one of those nights the four of us stayed with K' in the nicest hotel I may ever see.
Labua. I have yet to see the film "The hangover part 2", but I hear it's in there. The hotel has a dress code. The room we stayed in was bigger than most places I've ever lived. Breakfast was all you could eat and came complete with a baker baking fresh bread in a brick oven, and cooks preparing omelets to order. You couldn't even carry your own food. A waiter or waitress would run up, take it from you, then bring it to your table. And there was a pool.
That night K', Nicole, Spencer and myself met up with Patrick and Erika (who where leaving in a couple of hours) and had dinner. Nicole would up leaving her hat in bangkok, so I will run it up to Toronto if she wants. The next day K' and I went to a market where I bought souvigners (and subsequently lost them...) and walked around the city, saw a movie, and then we parted ways. She went to Korea and I stayed in Bangkok.
I then moved to a dutch hostel for the remainder of my days. It was nice, except for the bed bugs. I spent my time wondering around, researching muay thai and thai massage. Then it was time to go. On the way to the airport, I stopped and bought a new white T-shirt.
I sat in the airport reflecting on the past month, on the people I'd met, and on Thailand as a whole. I hadn't gotten enough. A whole month and I never did find that bar to fight in. I had been almost everywhere in Thailand you could go in a month and experienced so much, and yet I had this dull ache. I must find that bar. I had picked up new thing about muay thai and thai massage though. So I at least had that. Plus the animals I helped and stories I'd collected. Then there was the people. The more I thought about it the more I came to realized something. The people I had shared my experiences with where what made them so memorable. Maybe it was just nice to know that when I tell this story there will be a group of people out there who can identify with thaiarrhea and jungle spikes. And heat rash. Maybe that was the reality of this trip. Or maybe it was I didn't find what I was looking for, but I found everything else.
Either way, I definatly have to go back. I need to find that bar to fight at. Plus, I now have several fighting gyms I have the opportunity to train at in Phuket. I can't pass that up. Nothing will stand in my way! I'll be unrelenting in my quest to get BACK to Thailand.
Probobly won't be TOO bad, even though I told the airport customs I wouldn't come back as part of my plan to get out of my punishment for grossly overstaying my visa. It worked! Of course I did go back on a layover and they tried to leave without me by moving my flight ahead an hour (didn't know that was a thing), and they broke most of my things, but oh well. I got out of staying in their crappy airport brig AND paying fines, so I'll call it a win.
Besides, I'll need to have some good stories the next time I see any of the group again. So, 7 flights, an overnight train, numerouse buses, trucks, tuk tuks, and boats later I sat in the bangkok airport, waiting to fly to Tokyo Japan.
Japan. What could go wrong?
-Nash
Every once in a while (or almost constantly) I embark on a great journey to find something. I become hell bent on reaching my goal and with immoderation I will not stop untill I'm there with what I was after. More often than not complications and obsticles arise and must be overcome. Ocasionaly these can set me back years. Sometimes I find everything I'm after, and sometimes I find everything except what I'm after.
and so it is with this story...
So there I was! Wondering how exactly I was going to get to Thailand and do some research on Muay Thai and other such things and find a bar I'd heard of where you can fight Muay Thai, when I hear of a volunteer orginization going to Thailand to help endangered animals. Perfect. I love animals, and they'll familurize me with Thailand. What could go wrong?
Money.
I don't have any.
But, with months of ideas and a little creative accounting, I was able to register for the orginization. They where to provide a flight, transport, lodging, most of my food, and a briefing. I would be studying in Thailand in no time, helping elephants probably. Right?
Well, first there was the issue of my flight. It turns out it left from Los Angeles. I was not in Los Angeles. Second, there was the issue of survival money. I had none. Third, I would not be helping elephants as I had been informed that I would now be working with gibbons. Fourth... I had no clue what a gibbon was. It's an ape by the way. Monkeys/apes and Nash don't mix for some reason. I wasn't thrilled at the news. Lastly, looking at the schedule for the month, it seemed I would be way more busy than originally thought...
I find however that you can't get worried if you remain in a constant state of shock. So, when life gives you a small problem, find two more small one's and a big one! The feeling of being overwhelmed will calm you. Or kill you. It works for me though.
And so, with many loans from many friends, I was off. I didn't even have a flight up untill a few days before I was supposed to leave! I did have a couple days of flying and layovers ahead of me though, which meant that I needed to stock up on food for the trip, airport food being as pricey as it is. I set off and the time flew and soon I was in Thailand. How does one condense a months worth of unrelated anecdotes into a compellingly linked single narative? They don't. Here comes my attempt though.
When I arrived I was joined by the rest of the volunteers, 7 in total, all girls. Eight of us and I was the only guy. Those that know me might assume I was about to kill myself, or them, after a couple of days. They would be wrong. Something amongst us clicked. We all got along great, and after the first week we where like a family. This could have been becouse we where all so diffirent, we where free to pursue our own place within the group. There was Abby, a very open person who has no problem telling people what she thinks. Chasity, who's duty it was to make sure everyone knew that everything had a sexual conotation. Julie (brown) is half filipino, she had never been out of the states prior to this, but was studying pre-vetrinary medicine. Julie (green) was the concernced sister of the group. She made sure everyone was ok as well as served up relationship advice with the proper muse. Kristen was the little sister of the group perpetually late and doing and saying silly things. Also she was sick for about 3 weeks. She probably had malaria. K' was the american-korean big sister of the group. She splits her time between the states and Korea. Annette is the american-norwegian girl who is the prim-and-proper one of the group. She was also studying pre-vetrinary medicine and loves horses. A lot. Then of course there was Nash, possesing tales the likes of which the group had never heard (and still haven't, mostly), as well as the coveted 'Y' chromosome. Also there was Jon, our group leader. He served several years in the peace corps.
We where all working in a small muslim village in the Phuket province. This meant my morning jog took me past free roaming bulls, a mosque, a rubber tree farm, elephants... and a 7-11. This also meant the girls had to have pants on covering their knees and shirts covering their chest and shoulder. The tropical rainforests of Thailand are hot and humid. They did not seem happy at this. The project head for the Gibbon Rehabilitation Project was a retired Muay Thai fighter, Roch, which gave us something to talk about that wasn't gibbons. I also got some training advice from him and he said there was a bar in Railay where you could fight Muay Thai. Exactly what I was after! The hunt was on.
My room had two cots in it, with sheets portraying teddy bears and flowers. Fitting for my taste. It was also covered in geckos.
Most days would see the group up at around 6:30 (I would get up at around 5:30 to run and do my morning exercises) and be gone by 8:30 where we would work in the rainforests doing things like beating trails, blazing trails, cleaning cages or landscaping. Pro tip: EVERYTHING in Thailand's tropical rainforest is made of spikes! Even the animals! Work was usually done by 5. Then it was dinner and bonding time, which when requested consisted of one of my stories. Ocasionally though, we would do something diffirent in the forest such as be taught rainforest survival skills from one of the staff that looked even more like a guirilla warfare pirate than the others. This consisted of new ways to catch food, cook food, how to extract water from various plants, and how to make diffirent kinds of rope. On one such excursion, I was bent over and Chasity stood behind me looking over my shoulder at a leach. I stood up fast and headbutted her in the nose so hard I was shocked she was even still alive. After much blood and nausea the swelling went down to reveal her nose had not been broken! We where all surprised.
On one occasion, one of the villages caught a 4 meter long python while it was eating one of their chickens. They turned it over to the wildlife protection guys, who then tasked me with carrying it into the tropical rainforest to release it. Hiking while carying a 4m python in a potato sack isn't as hard as it sounds. Just sling it over your shoulder and go (while being careful not to hit it on anything). The rope used to hold the bag closed became my new work belt. Now THERE'S clothing with a story behind it! I feel it's important to mention here that Abby is afraid of snakes, and that one would always show up at just the right moment to cause comedy. One even fell out of a tree near her, shaving at least a year off of her life. In the same vein, I was surprised by a huge lizard in my toilet that Annette eventually got out. There where also monkeys everywhere. Lots of monkeys.
Some fun facts about Thailand: Their toilets are designed not to be able to handle toilet paper. As far as I'm concerned, if there is a situation that requires toilet paper, a thin piece of wet paper will be the least of your toilet's concerns. That is, if you are even lucky enough to find a toilet with toilet paper and it isn't just a bowl on the floor, flushed by dumping a bucket of water on it.
Another interesting fact: there appears to be no method to the madness of their driving. I watched a man on a motorcycle have a head on collision with a guy in a truck, as well as numerous hit-by-car dogs. If you saw how they drove, you wouldn't be surprised. As dangerouse as the roads where though, the rainforest harbored a diffirent kind of danger... crazy guides! Once green Julie and myself where part of a team sent out to find and watch specific gibbons. Except a landslide had taken out our trails. Our group was the only one without a machate at the time, so our guide attempted to blindly blaze a new trail with a camera single-leg-tripod. A onepod! They are not sharp! They are dull. Our little venture that day took us to a boar's nest, a crazy brush with tropical rainforest hornets, and a flash flood. we also didn't find the gibbons we where looking for...
There was one I didn't want to find.
"Crazy Tony".
A gibbon infamouse for attacking everyone, especially foreigners. By the end of it all, I was ready to punch his teeth out, or worse, but he never made his move on me. I'm sure he's out there waiting for me... plotting.
After awhile of work and participating in international tree planting day where we planted a species of palm tree found nowhere else on earth except there, the group was given a couple days off. The first of which saw us walking to the Londoner's bar. A bar run by...an expat from London. G. This would be the first of many brushes with alchohol for the group. One where they witnessed exactly what happens to a person with a fast metabolism when he drinks. They also learned that if they want a specific answer to a question, they should ask the question specifically...
The next day saw us all leaving for Kata Beach. A beach that is surely in contention for the title of "nicest I've ever been to". Beutiful white sand, and water so salty it's like swimming in a soup of beef jerkey. Delicouse... and burning. We all stayed in a gorgeouse hotel sweet that we managed to trash thanks to a hard night of partying. K' also taught us the drinking game "korean kings"... it is NOT to be triffled with! The following day it looked like motley crue had stayed in the room... and my white T-shirt did not survive the trip.
When we returned to the gibbon complex I needed to find a new shirt, so I went to the market. I found the manliest, largest shirt I could find. Unfortunatley it was neither manly nor large. I did however get it to fit by cutting the neck out (accidentaly into a 'V') and the sleaves off. The shirt will live on in infamy as "The gay Thailand shirt". Other things that may live on in infamy: One of the group was having a bit of a relationship with one of the staff. This is a no-no. Another one of the staff fancied a diffirent member of the group, one that I was spending considerable time with, and so he came to not like me very much as a result. No real problems arose in either case though. Probably.
When our time with the Gibbon Rehabilitation Project was at an end we had a party on the beach where we played soccer with the staff, and hung out all night. Roch and I talked Muay Thai and Training. Abby learned how to balance bottles. It was a fighting last night to our time there. Now it was time to move from Phuket to Chiang Mai, where our group would meet up with all the other groups from the orginization that where in Thailand at the same time. We where to be taken on a whirlwind "adventure" tour, and see as much of Thailand as possible, while being taught about the current states of problems with the country and animals, and what we could do to help solve them. We wondered what we would do without Jon's helpful advise and ability to speak Thai, since he was staying at the gibbon place. I was sure that now I would have time for more training and to find this fight bar.
When we arrived in Chiang Mai we found we had a legitimate hotel to stay at, with hot water and air conditioning! We weren't in the jungle anymore. We did however manage to trash this hotel as well (and every other one for that matter). When we arrived at this hotel, we where introduced to the other groups, and to our two new guides: Milk and Queen. Two insane thai women in their 20's, one of which was a former muay thai fighter and combative artist who had studied Judo, Karate, and the like. Perfect. I got along great with the other group members as well. People like Patrick, Nico, Chad, Carston, Spencer, and Nicole just to name a few. While in Chiang Mai I went to some Muay Thai places and took Annette to a Muay Thai fight. One kid, who looked about 10 years old, took about six consecutive roundhouse kicks to the head before falling into a twitchy coma. He had to be drug from the ring. Green Julie and Abby joined us towards the end.
While in Chiang Mai we visited one of the largest temples. Here I was given a bracelet by a monk and blessed, and had my fortune read. It stated: "you have terrible luck right now! Do not embark on any adventures without first consulting an elder that has already done the things you want to do! You will also have to wait awhile for love. It's not coming to you soon." Great. Off to adventures!
I also went Bungie jumping in Chiang Mai. That should have been exciting enough, but the real excitement happened on the way there. We where traveling in a van to the location, when all of a sudden it sounded like the automobile wouldnt' go into gear. The noise got louder and louder untill finally the van stopped, but the noise kept escalating. Smoke started pouring from the hood and the driver jumped out and started running away screaming "get out! get! out!" Smoke and fumes flying out of everywhere now and they had begun rapidly filling the van. We couldn't get the doors open! The person that had been up front in the passenger seat was all who could escape, as he stood outside looking in with horror on his face. Panick filled the van in the 10 seconds it took us to finally allow us unlock it. We ran out. "Man Nash, I thought you where going to rip the door off the van." Spencer said.
Me too.
Much more exciting than the actual jump, though I might have screamed like a little kid.
While in Chiang mai I also went to a market and bought some cloths the seller swore would fit me. They did. Other highlights of Chiang Mai included: Thai cooking class, going to a silk factory and jade carving place, a 2-hour thai massage (where comedy ensued), rock climbing, thai dinner theater eating viking style while watching some martial arts and such, and the group taking me out for an unforgettable night. Thanks!
Oh, there was also a time Carsten ( a big german guy) and myself where on a temple tour riding in pedi-cabs. Good, except our drivers looked to be in their 100's. Once we actually had to get out and push our own pedi-cabs up hill becouse they where too old and we where too heavy. I feel like that defeats the purpose of a mode of transpor, if you have to get out and push it.
After we all left Chiang Mai we went on a three day trek up through the jungle and visited various mountain tribes and villages, very akin to ninja villages. The view was gorgeouse and the company good. The night sky is of particular mention for it's beutey.
While visiting the mountain tribes we visited a shaman. The shaman was nice, but learning how he became a shaman leads me to wonder. This man became a shaman when he was a child. He had a dream where he was visited by spirits, and he found out he was allergic to garlic. That's it! Those where the signs. Then a shaman mentored him and he bacame a shaman. I think I might be a shaman. Or at least could have been one if I had had a shaman mentor. The signs are all there!
On our way down from the village we stopped at a powerfull waterfall, where I got some waterfall training in. I also got a bracelet from an old village lady by the waterfall. Then we went white water rafting. In my raft there was K', Annette, and Kristen (who could not hold on to a paddle to save her life). We managed to flip our raft quite spectacularly, with most people going overboard twice during the course of the trip (though I might have only gone over once, it was a doozy). Afterwords we relaxed at another hill tribe place. When we left that place we went to the elephant nature park, which is not only an elephant preserve, but also an animal rescue featuring many animals such as horses, dogs, and bears. We cared for and learned about elephants while we where there.
When we left we traveled to bangkok where we got on an overnight sleeper train. The train was quite uncomfortable untill personell changed the seats into beds. Even with the incredible heat I put out and despite the small bed (or maybe becouse of) I managed to be very comfortable that night.
Once we where off of the train, we where back in southern Thailand. Near Phuket! Home sweat home (as far as Thailand is concerned anyway). We stayed at a rainforest lodge in tree-house bungalos with lots of maqaqs (monkeys!). The bathrooms where more like a back patio than a bathroom. In fact, it was just a back patio with a toilet on it. The place had a rope swing over a river that everyone thought I was going to kill myself with ( I didn't). Most of us went tubing while we where there. While tubing, someone got it in my head that it would be a good idea to try and stand on the tube and surf. Someone then told me that "now" would be a good time to do it, as the river was deep. It was not. The current was strong though, and when I fell off the tube, I recieved a 5 minute ass beating from the river bed as I was strongly drug over it by the current. This went on until I could get my tube back...
Next we all hopped onto a long tale boat and toured around the lake at Khao Sok park. We swam and had lunch on a floating resteraunt. The next place we where headed was phuket proper where we would spend most of our time at sea (my favorite) on a ship, and sea kayaking. While on the ship I befriended one of the crew named Mac, who just happened to be a Muay Thai fighter. We talked about all things Muay Thai while he wasn't working.
While sea kayaking our guide had us moar up by a cliff on an island during low tide. Low tide revealed a small tunnel we could barely squeeze through, and after about 15 minutes of squeezing we emerged into a beutifull secluded lagoon. When we where done there it was off to our kayaks, off to our ship, and off to our beach front lodging for the night.
The night had all the makings of a great night, but things took a turn as thy are want to do. Firstly there where amazing hammocks suspended right on the beach. Next there was to be a barbecue, and third there was to be a muay thai demonstration! This would consist of various fights, plus the chance for us to spar as well. Oh, and Mac was one of the fighters! What could go wrong?
Thaiarrhea. The special kind of thai diarrhea I'd been able to avoid. Untill this night. First I was incapacitaded with stomach cramps, and then I was hit with nasuea and weakness. I thought I might have to puke. I was wrong. I would have tried to go to bed at sundown, had it not been for the muay thai. Everyone wanted me to fight. I could barely breath. In between struggled breaths I assured my comrades that if I got hit and pooped my pants and passed out, it would be hard to regain my lost honor. They egged me on anyway. Then the demo began. First with children, then moving onto adults and champions. They had some good skills, and everyone was having a great time. Then Mac stepped in to fight. He was doing good, sparring with his friend...until an elbow to the face knocked his two front teeth out of his head and onto the canvas! Then he finished the remaining minute and a half of the fight! Warrior spirit. Then the rest of the matches where fought. Afterwords the fighters wanted volunteers to work the pads (NOT spar, after the teeth incident). Everyone wanted me to do it. I just wanted to lie down. Working pads would not bring me much. I wasn't going.
Then one of the fighters walked up and handed me the gloves with a look in his eye.
A challenge! If I could move only my pinky finger I wouldn't have backed down. He signaled for a round kick. I delivered and his kick meat pad flew off of his hand. Once he reset, he wanted serial middle round kicks. I answered. Kicks, punches, elbows, combinations, switch kicks, and knees. He told me when he had had enough. I felt great! Fighting was my cure. As I came back to my seat everyone was shocked. Kristen said "you turned into a freakin' beast!"
Well you had heard the stories....
"We thought they where made up!"
What!?
"Exagerated. We thought they where exagurated." Abby chimed in.
"But they're not!"
No. No they are not.
After my applouse, I did some verbal coaching for everyone else who went, and talked muay thai with queen. Then went to bed. Or tried to at least. I kept hearing a knocking that wasn't really there, and our hut had a dokei lizard that screamed at us all night. No sleep again.
We wound up starting a collection to try and get Mac some new teeth. The next day at sea he was a bit shy, but still working hard. Even though our group got along great I needed some personal Nash adventure time. So when we stopped for people to sunbathe or swim or whatever I seized the opportunity and kayaked a few islands over and behind another island. The things I saw where beutifull. I saw the blackest crane shaped bird I had ever seen. Then I saw the bluest sparrow shaped bird I'd ever seen. It's artfull blueness surpassed only by the peculiarity of what I saw next. I saw a crab, about the size of a food bowl, sailing on top of a block of wood of approximatly the same size, in the middle of the ocean. I say sailing becouse thats what it apperead to be doing. Odder still, right next to it was a gold heart shaped... thing. A keychain like object. So, I took it. Captain crab didn't seem to mind. When I got back to the boat I showed the group my spoils.
"What if that was a cursed crab, and it's love was supposed to find that heart and turn him back into a person!?"
He should have guarded it better.
"It's the heart of the sea!"
I liked the sound of that, and that's what it's called now. Still in my possesion. I only had to split off of the group for 1 hour and I was able to come back with a small story and the heart of the sea. Not bad. Our group then recomveaned and went kayaking through a mangrove swamp.
My kayak was right behind the guide's as he led us through in a single file line. Fun except that he led us in during low tide, and my kayak bottomed out. The guide told us to wait 8 minutes while the tide came in. I was fine with it, but apperantly no one behind me knew why we had stopped, so it just looked like I was screwing around for 8 minutes. It wasn't my fault! It was low tide! When we finally made it through we went back to the ship and sailed to Railay beach, where we would spend the next few days. Railay beach is a mostly beutifull tourist area.
While based in Railay beach we sailed to the Phi Phi islands (Ko Phi Phi) and went snorkeling in he coral reefs there. We also went to Maya Beach, which is where the movie "The Beach" was filmed. It was full of garbage and tourists. The best part of being there was that people could finally stop telling me about the place.
Railay beach was a nice enough place to be, but nothing compared to Kata beach in my opinion. Railay beach is isolated enough to be inconvenient, but not enough to be relaxing. It is home to beaches that are fun to walk on at night though. There are tide pools with fish to see, snails, anemones, various crabs, a wonderous night sky, and many other beutifull things to see.
It is also home to some decent night life. "The last bar" specifically. A place that features many drinks, a dance floor, body painting, fire dancers, ...free wifi... a blatently plagerized batman logo, and it also happens to be a place we all went and accumulated good times. Everyone came away that night with at least one memorable experience (wether it directly involved them or not).
After our time in Railay beach was done we started into motion the process of leaving Thailand. We sailed from Railay to Krabi, and then flew from Krabi to Bangkok. Everyone left from Bangkok to return to their homes abroad. Everyone except myself, K', Spencer, and Nicole. Spencer and Nicole where flying out the following morning. K' had a couple of days to hang out in bangkok, and I had a few. For one of those nights the four of us stayed with K' in the nicest hotel I may ever see.
Labua. I have yet to see the film "The hangover part 2", but I hear it's in there. The hotel has a dress code. The room we stayed in was bigger than most places I've ever lived. Breakfast was all you could eat and came complete with a baker baking fresh bread in a brick oven, and cooks preparing omelets to order. You couldn't even carry your own food. A waiter or waitress would run up, take it from you, then bring it to your table. And there was a pool.
That night K', Nicole, Spencer and myself met up with Patrick and Erika (who where leaving in a couple of hours) and had dinner. Nicole would up leaving her hat in bangkok, so I will run it up to Toronto if she wants. The next day K' and I went to a market where I bought souvigners (and subsequently lost them...) and walked around the city, saw a movie, and then we parted ways. She went to Korea and I stayed in Bangkok.
I then moved to a dutch hostel for the remainder of my days. It was nice, except for the bed bugs. I spent my time wondering around, researching muay thai and thai massage. Then it was time to go. On the way to the airport, I stopped and bought a new white T-shirt.
I sat in the airport reflecting on the past month, on the people I'd met, and on Thailand as a whole. I hadn't gotten enough. A whole month and I never did find that bar to fight in. I had been almost everywhere in Thailand you could go in a month and experienced so much, and yet I had this dull ache. I must find that bar. I had picked up new thing about muay thai and thai massage though. So I at least had that. Plus the animals I helped and stories I'd collected. Then there was the people. The more I thought about it the more I came to realized something. The people I had shared my experiences with where what made them so memorable. Maybe it was just nice to know that when I tell this story there will be a group of people out there who can identify with thaiarrhea and jungle spikes. And heat rash. Maybe that was the reality of this trip. Or maybe it was I didn't find what I was looking for, but I found everything else.
Either way, I definatly have to go back. I need to find that bar to fight at. Plus, I now have several fighting gyms I have the opportunity to train at in Phuket. I can't pass that up. Nothing will stand in my way! I'll be unrelenting in my quest to get BACK to Thailand.
Probobly won't be TOO bad, even though I told the airport customs I wouldn't come back as part of my plan to get out of my punishment for grossly overstaying my visa. It worked! Of course I did go back on a layover and they tried to leave without me by moving my flight ahead an hour (didn't know that was a thing), and they broke most of my things, but oh well. I got out of staying in their crappy airport brig AND paying fines, so I'll call it a win.
Besides, I'll need to have some good stories the next time I see any of the group again. So, 7 flights, an overnight train, numerouse buses, trucks, tuk tuks, and boats later I sat in the bangkok airport, waiting to fly to Tokyo Japan.
Japan. What could go wrong?
-Nash